My new tattoo shocked the kids, as may my World Cup prediction (2024)

I went on half-term hols a week ago to Cyprus, to a massive resort called Acapulco with three of my grandchildren, and on the last day I went mad. I had a tattoo. The grandchildren had hysterics. My daughter thought I had gone potty.

And what image did I pick? The Spurs co*ckerel of course, on my right shoulder. Afterwards I thought I should have the Arsenal gun on my left shoulder. My area is half Spurs and half Arsenal so if I ever get beaten up by local muggers I will find out their allegiance and show them the appropriate tattoo.

I came home to find that Raheem Sterling has been getting it in the neck for having a tattoo of a gun on his right leg. Pretty dopey, considering his father got shot. What he should do now is go out and have another tattoo . On the other leg. I suggest he has a White Dove. Then when he gets rubbished for having the gun he can point to the Dove. War and Peace, he can say, which has bedevilled humanity throughout the ages. And being in Russia, it is also literary. Gerrit.

I am so looking forward to seeing Raheem in action. Most of the time he does not know where he is going or why. Just like all of us, really. It explains why so often he, erm, falls down. In fluttering forward like a butterfly he does panic most defences, though.

I am also looking forward to seeing Harry. He has not quite been himself since his injury. That muck-up when his weight was officially given as 25 stone did have a grain of truth. I still think he is eight pounds overweight.

Also looking forward to Kyle Walker bombing forward. He knows where he is going and why — to put over a killer cross. I also have a soft spot for Marcus Rashford and Dele Alli. And that is roughly it, the few England players I am really, really looking forward to seeing playing well.

With so many of the rest I will be closing my eyes when they get on the ball, such as Phil Jones, what a lump he is. Nor am I a fan of Eric Dier. John Stones looks lovely, the son every mum would want, nice sensible hair, sweet face, but he is not as good as we all first thought. Harry Maguire makes me smile, a physique you don’t now see in football, straight from a 1930s cigarette card. All he needs is a middle parting. Yes, the England defence is such a worry. How will I sleep before their games?

I am of course looking forward to the whole damn shooting match. I have my wall charts decorating my room. Wordsworth had newspapers on his walls at Dove Cottage to keep him warm. My WC wall charts make me feel comfortable, part of the global family. Plus my Panini stickers, though for some reason I have acquired five of Dier. Not even my grandchildren will swap them.

Panini stickers are part of World Cup tradition, but they are not a patch on the original versions, produced by Baines in Bradford back in 1885. They were so pretty, good colours, excellent artwork. Peter Blake did a poster using them which I have framed on my wall — signed by him, oh yes. I am a groupie.

I am not in any sweepstake, but a friend in a large office has sent me a copy of his. You not only have to predict the winners of all games but also the number of red cards and penalties scored in the shootouts. Football stats gone mad.

We are so lucky in England. Whatever happens to the national team — and I am predicting them to win the World Cup, which I do every time, just to annoy the clever clogs — England supporters will always have a dog in the race, whatever happens. There are more players from our leagues — 124 — appearing in the World Cup than from any other country. Around half of the Belgium squad plays in England. Man City have 16 players there, Chelsea 14 and Spurs 12. Fans of all three should have someone to cheer, right to the end.

I remember 20 years ago going to Derby to interview Igor Stimac, their star defender. It was l998 and Croatia were expected to do well in the World Cup. Half of Derby seemed to be wearing the Croatian shirt, that nice one with the red squares. All Derby fans had convinced themselves that Igor was one of their own.

This will be the first World Cup since l966 that I have not said to my dear wife “Listen pet, if you have anything to say, say it now, cos for the next six weeks I will not be listening.” She died two years ago. I never realised when I said it before the 2014 World Cup that it would be the last time.

I was there at the 1966 final at Wembley, and have the ticket to prove it. It cost £5, best seat. In l966 you could buy a house in Carlisle for £5 and still have change for a packet of Woodbine. I did not realise how unique it was going to be. We all thought it would keep happening. Which it will, this year. Oh yes. I do believe it. As I always do . . .

Hunter Davies wrote the football book The Glory Game, Mainstream £9.99, and has written a football column in the New Statesman for the past 22 years